


Open Wounds, Closed Doors

by Needsanap



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Aged Up, Alexithymia, Anorexia, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bulimia, Depression, Impulse control disorder, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Panic Attacks, Paranoid Personality Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Trust Issues, panic disorder, schizoid - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23920024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Needsanap/pseuds/Needsanap
Summary: Saihara was never very confident. There was nothing to be confident of, in his eyes at least. Shuichis Uncle had called his therapist after a particularly concerning melt down. Hopefully the therapists idea of having him sent to a mental Institute for the time being would work better than the previous attempts to get through to him.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 125





	1. A Shaking Feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Living with Obscurity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12901392) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> This is my first fanfiction so if you have any critiques I'd love to hear them! Just please be kind I am a newbie after all. Also it is not my intent to insult or bastardize any mental illness, so If I got anything wrong or interpreted anything incorrectly PLEASE LET ME KNOW. If you have some information about a certain mental illness I'm writing about or just any at all I'd love to hear it. This is a learning experience for me as well as hopefully an entertaining one for you guys! Thank you and I hope you enjoy!

Shuichi sat in his room looking out his window at the view of his small, close knitted neighborhood. He let out a soft sigh of solemn loneliness. He didn't have many friends, actually to be honest he didn't have **any**. There were people he considered to be closer than others. There were people he spoke to at school, and people he would wave to when he saw them pass. But he never really considered any of them **friends**. Acquaintances maybe. It's not that anyone was really rude to him or treated him with contempt. He just felt...out of place. Ever since he moved he never felt as if he belonged there. Everyone was really nice and would invite him over, the kids of the neighborhood would always treat Shuichi as if he was their family. That's just how they worked, everyone was like one big family. But still it irked Shuichi, why did he always feel so anxious to join in on the fun. It seemed as though they liked him, hell they even would make an effort to encourage him to hang out. But still, did he really belong with them? Shuichi wondered. As he thought he became shaky.

'It's fine', he assured himself. 'I'm fine' he repeated to himself in his head. There came the thoughts that were never far from his mind. 'Do I really deserve this life? These people? Do I deserve to be able to hang out alongside everyone else. I'm an outsider. I don't know these people as much as they know each other. They probably only pity me because of my situation. Maybe they are glad that I decline their offers. Yeah, that's probably it. I mean it's only me. Plain old Shuichi Saihara. Nothing special. Nothing interesting. Just a teenage boy who's parents-'  
  
"Shuichi!" his uncle called for him interrupting his thoughts. He paused, and looked over seeing his uncle stare at him with a concerned expression as he stood in the doorway. Shuici rose his eyebrow confused to why his uncle looked so worried. Then he felt it, a cool feeling drip onto his hand. He looked down at it and saw a small droplet of water. A tear? Had Shuichi been crying without him even realizing? Then he realized a second thing, his hand was shaking. More so than before. It was quite apparent now. He swallowed back. A lump in his throat as a rush of emotion came barreling into his mind. It was like realizing he was crying had made him finally notice what he was holding back. He felt his breathing become shallow and his heart drop within his chest. Then all of the sudden he began sobbing, the emotion he had pushed back so far into his mind building up so much that it escaped like a violent tsunami. He held onto his head and tucked his knees to his chest heaving for air as loud weeps escaped his lips. He was so engulfed in his breakdown he didn't even notice his uncle running to get his wife. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

So now here Shuichi Saihara sits, his therapists waiting room while his aunt and uncle talk to her. As he waited he would occasionally spot them looking back at him. A few moments later his guardians walked up to him, 

"Hey Shu," his uncle smiled at him warmly, "You're therapist is going to talk to you about the next step." 

"Next step?" he raises an eyebrow quizzically. His uncle only ruffled his hair and nudged him toward his therapist. Saihara sighed and stood walking into his therapists room and sat down. His therapist had sat across him and smiled at him gingerly 

"So...I heard that you weren't feeling too good-" she spoke carefully and quietly in an attempt not to upset him but he interrupted her. 

"You can call it what it is." he said bluntly " I had a breakdown, I'm not 5." He muttered avoiding eye contact and averting his gaze to the floor. "Sorry..." he said quietly holding his own hand tightly. 

The woman only smiled sweetly at him "There's nothing for you to be sorry for. What did I say about apologizing about every little thing? You're right, you're a teenager now you should be spoken to like a young adult. And that's why I'm going to tell you this because I know you will understand it's for your own good..."

"Oh no." Shuichi said nervously, automatically expecting the worst. 

"No. No, oh no." She assured him "I just believe...since none of our treatments seem to be working quite well...it would be best if..."

"If?.."Shuichi encouraged her to go on. 

"If we sent you to a Mental Health Institute." She said finally. Shuichi's eyes widened. Was he mental? Did he need THAT much help? "I know what you're thinking Saihara, and no mental institutes are not for people who are 'mental'. It's just a place for people who need a it more support that simple therapy can give or the resources they have can offer." She assured him 

"But people online say that people there are insane! A-And they treat their patients horribly!" The therapist sighed. There's so many stigmas around these places and the people who need them. 

"Saihara, those are just stereotypes. No one there is 'insane' and that is actually quite an insulting word for some people. They just need extra help. Think of it as...separate setting for a test. It helps some people improve. And the rumors that they treat their patients inhumanly is untrue. Yes some of them do, I will not deny that. But a lot of other ones are quite good to their visitors. And I will **_make sure_** you get put in a safe supportive place." She said to him. Shuichi sighed and nodded in acknowledgement. 

"Okay well...where will I be going?" He questioned and adjusted in his seat. 

"Well first we are going to have to get you set up with a psychiatrist. And they will decide the next step." 

~~~~~~~~~~~

It was nighttime now. Shuichi had gone through hours of procedures and questions from a psychiatrist but he had last finished up interviews. His uncle had handed one of the staff Shuichis things. He was a tall and very big man. Shuichi swallowed back, this whole thing understandably had made him very anxious. The large man looked over to Shuichi and grinned at him,

"Don't worry this is a very good hospital! Gonta make sure everyone is safe!" The mad who Shuichi assumed was talking int 3rd person's optimistic personality only made Shuichi more nervous. He was a very quiet, shy boy. He enjoyed things to be very calm and was very easily intimidated. His uncle put his hand on his shoulder, 

"It'll be alright Shuichi. Just focus on getting better. " He grinned at him and ruffled his hair "And if you don't like it then you can tell us when we visit. And if you do, still tell us all about it when we visit." he nudged him forward "You might even make a friend! Now go on." 

Shuichi nodded " O-okay..." He said quietly and began walking forward looking down. But just before Shuichi and Gonta had gotten into the hallway he stopped abruptly. Shuichi looked back at his uncle and ran over hugging him. His uncle chuckled and patted his back and hugged him back. "I'm going to miss you..." he muttered biting his lip. 

"I'll miss you too Shu." He said quietly and rubbed his back "Promise me you'll try to make a friend while you're here?" He asked "For my sake?" Shuichi let out a sigh and let go

"I'll try" 

"That's all we ask." His uncle smiles. And with that Shuichi followed Gonta into his new challenge, hoping for the best. 


	2. Peculiar Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gonta leads Shuichi to his new room where he informs him of his....interesting roommate. Shuichi is confused of what he means, until he see's it for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a bit awkward because I'm not always the best at writing first interactions and I'm still planning. Also I'm extremely close to passing out so if there's any weird statements or spellings thats probably why.

As Gonta led Shuichi down the hall to his room Saihara looked around. This place wasn't anything like he had imagined. From all the stories he heard, he had expected it to be worn down and morbid, but this place just looked like any other hospital...if it were mixed with a hotel. And it even seemed pretty mellow. They had arrived at his room and Gonta stopped at the door and turned to Shuichi, 

"Gonta was told to inform you about your roommate." He stated and looked down at Shuichi. Shuichi bit his lip anxiously. Inform him? Why would he have to be informed? Was he dangerous? Violent? Gonta began speaking again "Gonta is not allowed to give private information about patients, but what Gonta can tell Shuichi is; Kokichi can be eccentric and very outspoken. Also Gonta suggests Shuichi doesn't make too much noise when with him. Gonta also suggests that Shuichi does not touch Kokichi." He speaks and hands Shuichi his bag. Shuichi blinked processing the information, and then nodded,

"O-Okay." Gonta then smiled at him "Remember Gonta always here if Shuichi needs anything!" Then he was off. Shuichi sighed looking at his bag and then at the door.

"Okay Shuichi...this is okay...you're in a psyche ward, but I'm sure it'll be fine..." he muttered to himself as he closed his eyes and reached for the door. Before he could even touch the door nob the door swung open and he fell forward on the floor. He groaned and rolled onto his back only to see a small boy with amethyst eyes and lavender hair staring down at him with a wide grin. Shuichi's face heated up from embarrassment. 'Wow nice first impression Shuichi. Real smooth.' He thought to himself. The boy tilted his head curiously and laughed 

"Neeheehee, What are you still doing on the floor, silly Shuichi~chan~?" He asked offering a hand to help him up. Shuichi went to reach for the hand but Kokichi retracted "Yeah right liked I'd help a klutz like you." Kokichis aura immediately changed to a darker one as he looked down at the other. Shuici just stared at him and Kokichi broke out into a wide grin again " Just kidding! That was a lie~" he snickered and extended his arm out once more. Shuichi sighed and accepted reaching up and grabbing his hand pulling himself up. So this was what Gonta meant by _eccentric._ This would take some getting used to. Shuichi's though process was cut off by the small boy making a pouting face "No thank you? That really hurts my feelings Shuichi~chan..." He whined. Shuichi was taken aback by the name 

"Shuichi~cha- uh...sorry....thank you..." He muttered quietly 

"Huh? What was that You have to speak up Shuichi~chan~" he teased putting a hand behind his ear. Shuichi tucked his hat down hiding his expression "I...said sorry and thank you..." he state just loud enough for Kokichi to hear. Kokichi started laughing again. 

"Wow Shuichi~chan you actually believed that? You're so gullible~" he teased. His face then changed to a menacing one and he smirked "If you keep that up, you'll be eaten up alive here~" he stated. Shuichi felt his gut drop, his anxiety levels were usually pretty high but this tiny gremlin was increasing it by a long shot. He didn't know what he was thinking, nor did he think he wanted to. But something about the boy seemed off. This made Shuichi uneasy. Kokichi looked at him and grinned. 

"Neeheehee, you should see your face! You look like you about to pass out." he giggled and strutted to his side of the room, which mind you was a mess. There were papers with doodles and writing all over them scattered across the floor and books everywhere. His bed was completely made and there was no trash on the floor other than the papers, so Shuichi assumed he was a workaholic. What he was working on? Shuichi had no clue.

Shuichi sat down on his bed and opened his bag beginning to organize all of his things placing his nicely folded clothes into his drawers and organizing his novels by Author on his shelf. He took out his giant collection of the **exact same hat** stacking them neatly next to the bed. Then he pushed his bag under the bed after taking out the bedding. He gingerly laid his black sheets onto the bed and tucking them in. He then spread out a white blanket, then a black one, then a plaid black and white comforter. After that he placed two pillows (black and white) neatly next to each other leaning against the bed bored. Little did the junior detective know that Kokichi was watching him throughout that entire process. The smaller one snorted, 

"Wow Shuichi, I never expected you to be so emo~" He teased. Shuichi blushed furiously at the comment and pulled his hat down in embarrassment. Maybe this whole making friends thing was going to be harder then he had expected. Especially if everyone in the ward acted like this. Kokichi looked at the clock "Well, Shuichi~chan looks like it's time for lunch~ Come on!" the boy strutted out the door with Shuichi following keeping his gaze to the floor. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once they got to the lunch room Shuichi saw just how many people were there. His heart skipped a beat 'Ohhhh shit.' he thought to himself looking around. Kokichi had already run over to where the food was. Shuichi sighed and walked over to the food as well. He heard talking from behind him. 

"Come on Himiko, at least an apple?" he heard a voice plead 

"Nuh- uh." Shuichi looked over and saw a short brunette with a bob. She had her arms crossed and was faced away from the lunch line. Next to her was a boy with avocado green hair, he looked fairly concerned. 

"Himiko, they are going to make you eat anyways. Come on just a little?" He insisted grabbing a tray and nudging one towards her. The girl groaned and gave in taking the tray 

"Nyeh, fine. " The boy smiled and looked over noticing Shuichi. 

"Oh hey! I haven't seen you here before. Are you new?" he asked walking up to him. Shuichi rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yeah..." he muttered. The boy grinned, he had a sort of laid back aura to him. 

"My names Rantaro Amami, and this," he pulled Himiko over to the conversation "Is Himiko Yumeno." The green haired boy introduced. Shuichi cleared his throat, they weren't that bad. Definitely not as bad as Kokichi. 

"Um...I'm Shuichi Saihara.." he murmured pulling his hat down to cover his face. 

"Well Shuichi, would you like to sit at our lunch table with us?" He asked casually. Shuichi didn't hate the idea of sitting with them, but still. He didn't know them as well as they knew eachother. He'd most likely just be left out. 

"Oh...um I don't know..." He looked away biting his lip nervously. 

"Oh, come on. We don't bite." Rantaro insisted. 

Shuichi still shook his head "N-no I'm fine. Really." Rantaro frowned slightly 

"Mmmmm okay..." He sighed and picked out his food. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After they got their food Shuichi had found a table that wasn't occupied and sat down at it. He dissociated as he ate blanking out and just staring at his food. Little did Shuichi know Rantaro was not one to give up so easily. Suddenly a group of 8 people all sat around Shuichi. Shuichi jumped slightly from surprise he looked around at the group of people spotting a few familiar faces. Like; Kokichi. Himiko and Rantaro but everyone else he had no idea who they were. He just kept looking down. He then heard a voice groan. 

"Why did Kokichi have to come too." She whined and glared daggers at the boy from across the table. Kokichi snorted 

"Because no one cares about an ugly sluts opinion." The girl gasped and teared up slightly 

"U-ugly slut?!" Rantaro sighed and shook his head 

"Play nice you guys, we have a new person here." He smiled at Shuichi and suddenly everyone turned to look at him. It looked so rehearsed...Shuichi wouldn't lie. It made him a bit uneasy on top of the lingering anxiety of new people and social situations. Shuichi pulled his hat down to cover his face. A girl with long blue hair was the first to speak. Her voice was quiet but she spoke loud enough for Shuichi to hear. 

"Oh, hello. My name is Tsumugi Shirogane." She smiled at him kindly extending her hand to shake his. Shuichi looked at her hand and hesitantly shook it. 

"Um...m-my names Shuichi..." he muttered quietly retracting his hand after they finished introducing. Next was girl with wavy blonde hair and what looked like a pair of steampunk goggles. She smacked his back and he lurched forward a bit grunting. 

"Names Miu Iruma, Gorgeous Girl Genius! Hammer that into your head! Some day it'll go down in history!" She grinned. Shuichi adjusted himself and cleared his throat. This one might be a bit much for him he thought. 

"N-nice to meet you..." he stuttered rubbing his arm anxiously. Next came a boy who had long black locks and wore a green jumpsuit like outfit.

"Hello, my name is Korekiyo Shinguji." The boy stated nodded at Shuichi in greeting. 

"U-Um hello." Shuichi nodded back. The only person left that Shuichi hadn't heard from who sat at the far end of the table. Rantaro patted Shuichi's shoulder, 

"Sorry that's Ryoma Hoshi. He doesn't talk much." He smiled awkwardly. He quickly changed the subject so the silence wouldn't stay long. "So I assume you don't really know the routine around here quite yet?" he asked. Shuichi shook his head. "Well don't worry we'll make sure to guide you." Rantaro gave him a reassuring smile. 

"Okay.." Shuichi said quietly, nodding. 

"Great we'll start after lunch." 


	3. Here we go Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi spaces out during the tour and doesn't know his way around just yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry this took so long, I took a break to focus on school after the who corona thing and keep having issues with my laptop and motivation. I'm sorry if it seems too short or rushed I just didn't want to take TOO long to update ya know? Well anyways here I hope you enjoy! Again feedback and constructive criticism is encouraged, and if you know about any of the subject I'm writing about whether from experience or you're studying them PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSSSSSSSEEEEEEE tell me if I get something wrong or if you want to educate me more! I want this to be as accurate as possible! 
> 
> If you ever feel you need it here is the s*icide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
> 
> And don't forget to take breaks and focus on your own mental or physical health once in a while!

“So as you probably already know this is the mess hall.” Rantaro said as the group walked through the room. It looked like a hybrid between a school cafeteria and a café. There were 4 tables across from the counter where people got their food, they were laid out vertically, one end facing the counter and the other facing the windows of the cafeteria showing a wonderful view of the bright sunny day. Then there were 8 circle tables arrayed at each side of the cafeteria, moved closest to the window. On the left side of the cafeteria a door a little ways from the kitchen led to the boys restroom, on the opposite side was the girls. Shuichi liked this set up, it left a reasonable amount of space between groups of people keeping the room from getting too crowded. Shuichi didn't particularly enjoy close contact with other people. 

"Shuichi chaaaannnnn~" a familiar voice called, as Shuichi got body slammed by a certain purple gremlin. Nice. It's like this kid knew exactly how to push every button he had. But he stayed composed. Can't have an episode on your first day. That wouldn't look too good. 

Saihara's eyes widened and he stumbled back a bit. The boy was small so he didn't have enough force to make him fall but he did take him by surprise and he stumbled slightly. He sighed, 

"Yes, Kokichi?" He asked, tensing at the violet haired boys touch. Ouma noticed the reaction of Shuichi being touched but pretended to undermine this observation but kept it in the back of his mind. 

“While you were staring off into space Rantaro went off with everyone else thinking you were still following.” Kokichi snickered and put both hands behind his head stretching. 

Saiharas eyes widened “Why didn’t you tell me?!” 

Oumas hand moved to his face and put his pointer finger to his mouth smirking “Because it was funny, obviously! Neeheheheee~” Shuichi only rolled his eyes at him and began walking out of the cafeteria. As Shuichi was about to open the door Kokichi chimes in “Wrong way, Shu~” he smirked. Saihara sighed and turned to him

“Why didn’t you tell me before I got to the door?” he raised an eyebrow at Ouma. The boy only replied with a smirk. Shuichi rolled his eyes, “Fine, which way did they go?” he asked. 

“I could tell you.” Kokichi tapped his finger against his lips “But who’s to say I’ll tell the truth~” he smirked “Though you probably wouldn't believe me either way. And it seems you don’t have a choice neeheehee~” 

“C-can we just hurry this up? They’ve probably gone even farther while we were just standing here.” 

Kokichi pouted “Saihara channnnn you interrupted me! That’s not nice!” he sniffled and tears actually fell from his eyes. Shuichi taken aback from the sudden water works backed up. His eyes widened and he put his hand up in surrender 

“I-I’m sorry…” he rushed. And Kokichi paused actually a bit surprised but hid it quickly by laughing “No way! You actually believed that lie?! How dumb are you?” He ended his laughing session a few minutes later and composed himself. “You’re a strange one aren’t you.” he said more as a statement than anything. “Alright fine...come one Shuichi~Chan.” He strutted to the exit of the cafeteria Saihara not far behind. 

~~~

Rantaro turned around after giving a detailed description of the common area of the hospital “And thats about all you need to know about here-...” he looked around and raised an eyebrow “Where did Shuichi go?” He asked 

“The fuck if I know.” Miu shrugged 

“I am also unsure of his whereabouts…” Tsumugi muttered putting a finger to his lips. 

Himiko rubbed her arm looking around “NyeI don’t know either.” 

“Seems we have lost, both Shuichi and Kokichi...This cannot be good…” Kiibo murmured and looked at Rantaro. Rantaro sighed 

**“Here we go again…”**


	4. Save the Newbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi Takes shuichi around the facility and The group attempts to find them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SO SO SOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPLOAD!   
> I bunch of shiz happened and then Ms.Rona hit and I broke my laptop and I got really distracted 😔  
> That being said this chapter might be short because it took me so long to continue-

Shuichi followed Kokichi around the facility as he skipped throughout the hall. He thought that people would be sorted by age here? Why was he being bunked with such a small child. Surely the violet haired boy couldn’t be older than 13-14. But then again he did hang out with everyone else. Maybe he’s just really short??

“Whatcha starin’ at shushu~” Kokichi questioned kicking Shuichi out of his thought process.

He jumped slightly startled “O-oh um….uh…” Shuichi tried to order his thoughts but Kokichi only smirked

“I know I’m cute and all Shuichi~Chan, but keep your eyes ahead of you. You never know who you’ll bump into here~” Kokichi teased swaying his hips as he moved

Shuichi blushed furiously “W-Wha?!- Th-thats not!-”

“You’re so tense Shu, I was just teasing~” He snickered “Unless Shu~Chan was looking? Don’t tell me~”

“I-It’s not that! I-I swear-” Saihara rushed blushing furiously

“My my Shu~, you’re so easy to fluster~” He giggled and continued to gallop along the hall. Shuichi just sighed and followed Kokichi with his gaze to the ground

~~~~~

“Kokichi’s legs are tiny, he couldn’t have gone far.” Kiibo mutters looking around as they walked through the halls

"Don't underestimate him...you know what happened last time…" The entire group shivered wishing to never relive that memory.

"Anyways, let's just hope he doesn't act up. I don't know how much more booty juice cockichi can take before it's considered lethal." Miu sighed.

Rantaro rubbed the temple of his head "Poor Shuichi has to sleep in the same room as THAT. Someone should probably give him a warning now that I think about it."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now we have to find them, who knows what Kokichi might start-" Kirumi stated.

\------

After a while the group had seen Gonta doing his usual maintance on the building and walked up to him.

"Hey Gonta have you seen Kokichi anywhere by any chance?" Rantaro questions hopefully.

Gonta shook his head " Sorry, Gonta has not seen Shuichi since he has arrived…"

"No problem Gonta it's fine!" Kiibo reassures the taller man.

"WELL THATS JUST FUCKIN' PEACHY!" Miu yells and hits the wall.

Korekiyo frowned "Miu I suggest you do not yell or hit the wall, I understand it is hard for you but if Kokichi were to hear…"

Rantaro put his hand on Korekiyos shoulder"Yeah that would not be good."

Miu looked down realising what she had done "Oh right… s-sorry-"

~~~~~

Kokichi heard the slam from where he was and his eyes widened him jerking slightly.

Shuichi raised his eyebrow "Kokichi?..." He questioned walking up closer to the the smaller male.

Kokichi shook his head going back to walking "Yes what is it shu~shu?" He said him going right back to his old behavior.

"Are you okay?" Kokichis mouth twitched and he was trembling ever so slightly. Shuichi had spent enough time watching the people around him that he had picked up on these slight instances.

"I don't know shumai it's not like we are in a mental hospital~" he snickered Shuichi looked down

"O-Oh.." he muttered Kokichi paused

"Oh don't tell me you took that personally~ my my what a peculiar person you are shumai~" He smiled "Not boring at all~" The purple haired boy stretched "That was a lie by the way, I'm here because I want to be, not because I need it." He stated sticking out his tongue.

"But aren't there examinations you have to go through to get in here???" Shuichi asked confused

"Yeah yeah, but most of them are just like quizzes or something like that~ Nothing like a little lying to get me in~" Kokichi giggled "...But why would you want to go into a mental hospital if you don't need to??"

Kokichis expression didn't change but a small component of his voice did "You know you ask a lot of questions Shuichi~ What do you have a crush on me or something~ neeheehee~"

Shuichis face turned beat red "N-NO...i-its not like that- I was just…..curious…" he muttered

Kokichi laughed "Man you really are too easy to tease shu~ chan~ jeez, I came here because I thought it would be fun, that's all~"

Something about Kokichis answer seemed...wrong...or not wrong, untrue. He left it though, he could tell Kokichi was getting tired of his questions.


	5. Make a Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi drags Shuichi to his favorite spot and the group discusses what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't feel like this is as good as it could be but here you go! Again I'm so sorry it takes me so long to post, but I promise after Christmas when I get a laptop I will try my hardest to update more frequently.   
> National Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255  
> If you have any information about any mental illnesses even if they aren't tagged in this post I would love to hear about them! Also if you just need to vent this is a safe space! Do what you will with that information.

The violet haired boy sighed as they walked the halls "This walk is boring!" He groaned and slumped forward. 

Shuichi pushed his hat down to cover his eyes "I mean, the point of the walk is to find Rantaro and the others...It doesn't really be entertaining…" he murmured 

"OH! That reminds me, I was lying~" Kokichi grinned and spinned around walking backwards, so he could face Saihara. 

"H-huh, what do you mean?" Shuichi stuttered looking up at the boy, puzzled. 

"I never intended to bring you back to the group. I just wanted to walk with my dear shumai~" After Kokichi stated that Shuichis eyes widened.

"W-What?!" He gasped and stopped walking. 

At Shuichi's raised tone Kokichi squeezed his eyes shut. Luckily for him he had turned around right after he came clean to Shuichi. "Yep, surprise, surprise I lied~ who would have thought?" He snickered. "It's not like you can turn back now, you don't even know your way around the facility~ Nishishishi~" he smirked. 

Shuichi looked down at the floor. Kokichi was right, he couldn't do anything but follow him at this point. He just had to trust he wouldn't get dragged into anything. 

"Let me show you my favorite spot!" Kokichi grinned and grabbed Shuichis wrist pulling him through the hallway. 

~~~~~

"We've looked everywhere! Where could that gremlin be!" Miu groaned getting tired of all the walking. 

"I'm not sure, there's really no other place they could be…" Rantaro muttered to himself placing his finger to his lips and scrunching his face, thinking of any other place they haven't looked. 

"Nyeh, what about their room??" Himiko suggests slouching, losing energy quickly. She had skipped all meal times today, Rantaro tried to get her to eat but it was no use she wouldn't budge. 

Rantaro looked over "Are you tired, Himiko? You haven't eaten today, you should rest. You might pass out..here hop on my back I can carry you the rest of the way."

Korekiyo smiles slightly "You are quite the elder brother type Rantaro. It is very admirable indeed." 

Rantaro blushed slightly "U-uhm...thanks…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh Himiko," he boosted Himiko up and held her to piggy back style "There we go all good. You can rest now I'll have Miu bring you into your room after we are done." 

~~~~~

"K-kokichi wait! You're going...too...fast

." Shuichi panted as the other boy dragged him up the stairs with seemingly unlimited energy. 

Kokichi finally got to the top and let go of Shuichis wrist leaving the poor boy to heave out of breath from the sudden exercise. "You could have….warned...me…" he huffed and crouched down trying to regain his composure.

"Oh well too late now~" Kokichi grinned. "Anyways we are here!" 

~~~~~

"Well that was a dud…" Rantaro sighed and brushed his hands through his hair. 

"You don't suppose he-" Tsumugi- was cut off by Keebo 

"No, no. Kokichi may be chaotic but he isn't stupid. He knows what'll happen if he does that again."

Miu tilted her head "Wellllllll, I wouldn't put it past him. Kokichi never seemed to care about the consequences on of his actions, I see no reason he would start now." 

Rantaro nodded, "That's true… Should we tell someone" he muttered

"I doubt Kokichi will pull anything with Shuichi by his side...he may act crude and manic, but we all know he would never want to actually hurt anyone." Korekiyo chimes in. "It should be fine, you know how Kokichi gets when he is interrupted in his private time, I imagine this is no different." 

Rantaro sighed “Yeah, that’s true but also if he isn’t down here by their hourly rounds then you know what’ll happen.” 

Tsumugi thought for a second “Hm, I suppose we could give him a half an hour if he isn’t back by then then we could ask Gonta to check. Because Gonta has shown before that he won’t tell the other employees unless there is an emergency…” 

Miu scoffed “Yeah I was about to say the same thing..or whatever. We have a good idea of where he is and Cockichi wouldn’t do anything too rash if someone is with him.”

The big brother sighed and looked up, contemplating for a second “Yeah okay, we can give him 30 minutes, I guess. But as soon as the time is up we are telling Gonta.” There was a soft snoring noise coming from behind him. He chuckled softly “Okay, lets all have a bit of rest then.” He moves so Himiko is in his arms bridal style handing her over to Miu “Make sure to tell the nurses she hasn’t eaten. She’s getting light again.” he said ruffling her hair. Miu blushed at the gesture of endearment. 

“Y-yeah whatever…”

Everyone leaves for their rooms and Korekiyo goes into his room with Rantaro. The two of them sit in a comfortable silence until Korekiyo speaks. 

“I’ve never brought up your past because I know it’s a sore subject...and I know you feel it is your responsibility to watch over our friends, but even so don’t you think you pile too much weight on your shoulders. I mean you are here for yourself, not for us.” 

There was a long pause after Korekiyo said that and then Rantaro smiled at the ceiling. But it wasn’t his usual smile that he showed everyone. This one had a glint of solemn melancholy to it. “You’re as observant as ever I see…” he brushed his hair out of his face “I am doing this for myself. I enjoy helping them. I enjoy when they have a breakthrough and are happy.” he states. Korekiyo glances at him with a tinge of doubt. 

“Is that really how you feel or is it what you think you should feel?” 

At this statement Rantaros eyes widened. 

‘Ah.’ Korekiyo thought ‘So it hit it right on the mark…’

“Could it be, you don’t know how to feel. Or you are feeling something, but you aren’t sure what it is?” Korekiyo suggests standing up from his bed and grabbing a book.

Rantaro stayed silent as he spoke, 

“That is completely valid, if you were not already aware. Though I’m sure some part of you believes that, as I heard you say that to Keebo just 2 days ago. So maybe, you just don’t believe it to be true for yourself?” 

The avocado blonde stared down at his lap and attempted to pipe in “I’m not sure thats-”

“That’s what? How you feel? What you think? Then prove it to me Taro.” the burnette walked over to Rantaro’s bed and looked him in the eyes. “Without looking away or any indication of lying. Tell me that you are genuinely and completely sure that you are happy with how things are right now.”

Rantaro looked Korekiyo in the eyes “I am completely and genuinely happy about the way that things are right now.” 

Kiyo hummed “You’re knuckles are white and your eyes are dilated. You also spoke quieter than you usually do. Now I know for a fact you are lying.” 

Rantaro looked down and chuckled hoarsely “So what if I am...it won’t change anything.” 

Korekiyo shook his head “That is where you are wrong my dear friend. Now that you’ve said it outloud, you are certain that you are lying. Clarity and acceptance are the first steps into progress, are they not?”

As Korekiyo said that Rantaros glistened with a spark of hope. 

‘Clarity and Acceptance are the first steps to progress…what a cleansing thing to hear…’ 

“You-”

Right as Rantaro was about to speak the alarm had gone off.


	6. A Beautiful View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rantaro finally catches up to Kokichi but not before Shuichi notices something off about his demeanor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I PROMISED TO UPDATE MORE AND I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG THIS CHAPTER ALSO DOESN'T REALLY SEEM LIKE MY BEST IN MY EYES BECAUSE I GOT RUSTY I'M SO SORRY BUT I'LL WORK HARDER I REALLY WANT THE PEOPLE WHO MAY USE THIS AS SUPPORT TO GET THE COMFORT THEY NEED.   
> Also there are two mental illnesses I need some advice on because I really want this to be as accurate and helpful as possible, if anyone who knows any information about or has alexithymia/Schzoid or Borderline Personality Disorder is reading this Id really apreciate if you commented or if theres some other way for you to inform me more about these. Only if your comfortable of course. 
> 
> As always make sure that you are taking care of yourself, stay hydrated, take off your binder if you have one, maybe have a snack, rest if you need it, and TAKE BREAKS! Please, if this fic helps you in anyway TELL ME it could give me the burst of energy I need to get it done lol. I love all the comments I get you are all so nice to me. 
> 
> S**cide Hotline: 800-273-8255

Kokichi pulled out a pair of keys he had most likely pick-pocketed from Kaito. He unlocked the double doors in front of him and was met with the crisp, cool feeling of wind in his face. He closed his eyes and smiled softly. Shuichi stared at the smaller individual as his hair flowed back with the wind. 

“Ah that feels better, that building’s so stuffy don’t you think shumai?” Ouma sighed and opened his arms as if to hug the air around him. 

Shuichi didn't answer, the question hadn't been processed at all. His mind had fixated how the grape haired boy's pale clear skin seemed to glow in the light of the sun. And how faint freckles on his face painted a beautiful image onto Oumas face. Shuichi wasn’t scared to admit to himself that Kokichi was very pretty. Not in the slightest. But that wasn’t to say he had fallen for him. No, simply just admiring his appearance. 

“Shumai?” Kokichi’s voice rang through Shuichi's head and he snapped out of his thoughts. 

“O-Oh..uh...yeah..” he muttered and rubbed the back of his neck. Kokichi puffed out his cheeks and pouted, crossing his arms,

“I go to the trouble of snatching Kaitos key’s to show you my favorite spot and that's what I get in return?? How mean.” Shuichi's eyes widened at this and he desperately tried to fix his wording. Kokichi only giggled at his attempts, “Hmm you really are strange shumai.” He muttered and skipped over to the gate at the end of the roof. “Such an easy target~” he hummed and stared up at the sky. 

Shuichi watched him, “I don’t think I’m the strange one here…” he muttered walking after him. “You’re the mystery here.” He started and leaned against the gate. Kokichi seemed to smile at this; 

“Well Shumai, what's a life without mystery?” He turned back to look at Shuichi, his hair swaying gently with the wind, at that moment Shuichi could have sworn he’d seen something spark in Kokichi’s eyes. He couldn’t quite identify it. Excitement? Sorrow? Or was it-

“Kokichi” 

The moment was quickly cut off by a soft yet stern voice speaking. Kokichi’s eyes dilated for a split second, before he quickly composed himself. He grinned as him and Shuichi both turned to find the source of the voice. The violet boy grinned at seeing his friend standing behind the very tall maintenance worker. 

“Hey Taro-Neechan!” Rantaro winced at that name.  _ Neechan… _

“You know you aren’t supposed to be up here.” The older boy scolded Ouma frowning. 

Shuichi’s eyes widened, he froze “Wait so...we are allowed up here???” He asked not realising that he had already caused trouble the first day of being there. 

“No, Shuichi we are allowed to go to the roof of a very high building that just so happens to be a mental hospital. Use you goddamn head ya dumbass!” Mius voice boomed from next to Rantaro. This had caught Shuichi off guard and he winced slightly at her voice. Rantaro 'tsked and lightly smacked the back of Miu’s head. 

“What did we say about yelling Miu?” Miu’s eyes widened and she looked down 

“O-Oh right sorry...I didn’t mean to…” She muttered. Shuichi shook his head at the comment as say it was fine and an honest mistake. But something told him he wasn’t the reason why Miu was being scolded for shouting. 

“Anyways, yes Shuichi it is against the rules to go to the roof, for safety reasons. Especially for Kokichi who  **_just got out of solitary._ ** ” Rantaro stated making it very obvious that he was extremely disappointed in Kokichi. Shuichi turned to Kokichi to try to spot a reaction. Kokichi only sighed and stretched out walking towards the group. 

“You’re no funnnnnnnnnn” He whined and pushed past everyone. “You ruined my mood. I'm taking a nap. Oh shuuuummaaaaaaiiiiii, would you care to join me?~” 

At this Shuichi's face turned bright red “Uh wha- Thats- I-” 

Ouma scoffed and snorted “I was lying, as if I’d let you sleep with me.” He skipped away with a smirk on his face. 

Rantaro shook his head and sighed “I’m sorry about him Shuichi, he’s a bit...eccentric…”

Miu rolled her eyes and pushed past the group and next to rantaro “Yeah if by eccentric you mean a complete asshole.” she glared “Cock-ichi is a dick. Makes sense though you are what you eat.” She snorted and nudged him and smirked “Amiright?” 

Rantaro gave Miu a disappointed look and sighed “Anyways, please don’t misunderstand. He’s not inherently bad he just...struggles with communication sometimes. He really does get easier to get along with as you get to know him, I promise..”

Shuichi nodded “I understand. It’s only the first day I don’t expect to know everything about everyone immediately.” he smiled awkwardly ‘Though I do sense this will be a difficult situation…’ Saihara thought to himself. 

Gonta looked at his watch “Ah! Uh Gonta suggests you all head back to your room’s check up starts soon!”   
Kiibo nodded “Yes I agree we should head back.”

Shuichi tilted his head in confusion “Check up??”

“Oh yeah we lost you so we never got to explain.” Ryoma realised “Every once in a while the staff will do check up’s on us making sure we don’t do anything stupid and are where we are supposed to be. And our privacy and such depends on what level we are in the hospital. It’s very complicated to explain. But in simple words some people need to be watched over a little more closely for the sake of their safety or others.” 

Shuichi thought for a second “Oh okay I think I get the basic premise..” 

Korekiyo nodded his head in approval “Alright we really should head back now” 


End file.
